{Life} Chaos, Running & My 800th Blog Post

Today I googled "how to blog when life sucks". I'm not even kidding. I've been pretty absent here on my blog personally for a while now (although I've continued to post client previews....there's quite a few sessions that have never made it here). I have wanted to blog...but just not sure what to say and how to share the pain that is my current life. I so desperately just want to tell you every painstaking detail...but my life is not my own anymore. And I really just can't handle the potential for any added criticism or judgement for what I might share.

I haven't taken any personal photos in a long time. My camera was stolen back in December in the midst of a personal crisis...and I'm still kinda recovering from it all. I recently came across an awesome mom blog that describes life as brutiful. In her words, "Life is brutal. But it’s also beautiful. Brutiful, I call it. Life’s brutal and beautiful are woven together so tightly that they can’t be separated." I have never found a time in my life for this to be more true.

I have found so much joy sharing my life with you and documenting Brooklyn growing up....I really want to continue to do that. But I'm still kinda pulling myself up by my boot straps and trying to redefine this life of mine. I hope to be back sharing it all SOON with you. Maybe tomorrow, or next week, or in a month. I'm not sure. But please come back to see what's new soon. In the meantime, I'll continue to share client sessions.

In the midst of this chaos, I have found therapy in running. In fact, I just ran the Surf City Half Marathon on Super Bowl Sunday. I'm still kind of in shock that I did it and I did it ALONE. It was a major personal victory. There were moments during the race that made me emotional that I was doing it (back in September I could not even run a full mile). I've learned some important lessons in the power of positive thinking. And I'm so impressed that this 37-year old body can still run and do it 11-minutes faster than I did my last half five years ago.

This was my mantra for my long runs, and it totally worked...

I've been bitten by the race bug. I'm hoping to run the OC Half Marathon in May and then the LB Half in October. And I'm totally convinced that both you and I can accomplish whatever we want...if we just believe it and dedicate ourselves. This shall be the start of a new chapter...

AND HOLY COW...have I really written 800 blog posts? Wowzers.