{Sunsets} Thoughts on Life and Why I Love Sunsets

I remember an ex telling me that I was so busying doing A,B,&C and planning for D that I crashed every night in a fit of exhaustion. I rolled my eyes. Whatever. I'm ambitious, motivated, and a planner...what's wrong with that? And I didn't hear him. Until 10 years later...I'm thinking damn he is so right. Damn him for being right. And there have been many others that have told me the same.  Anytime somebody says something to you that ruffles your feathers and causes you to be defensive...it's worth exploring. There may just be a bit of truth in what they're saying. Probably a lot of truth. It's humbling.

I have spent a lot of time working, planning, and envisioning a future reality. That is the dreamer in me. Which isn't all bad. But it does steal my current reality and the beauty of this moment. A moment that I'll never get back. That is why I love sunsets. It stops me. It forces me to live in THIS moment. I am forced to stop thinking about ABC&D...and just take this moment in. Drink it. Absorb it. Live it. Just be still...even for a moment.

Be still. I hardly know what that means...except during sunsets. When life is crazy and there is constant noise and laundry to be done and a babe to bathe...I lose myself. I stop noticing the things in life that matter most. The kind grocer b/c I'm too busy telling my kid that she can't have any candy or replying to the text that demands my immediate attention (yeah right).  The little kid pulling on my leg ...who just wants to show me her  latest creation....and I snap "WHAT?!" Geez...there is nothing like seeing the tear in my kids eyes as she replies "I just wanted to show you something." Damn...I suck at life.

This moment. It's all we have. It's the only guarantee. God forbid...but this life can be gone in a moments notice. My best friend just lost a friend of hers this week...a firefighter, husband, & father (with another one on the way). He was on a routine call for work, was on the side of the road, & was struck by another car & killed.  We've been texting all week through the horrors of this new reality and it has been brutal.

So sunsets. Yep, they remind me of all that. It's usually my best moment of the day. They bring me back to reality and out of my constant list of 'to dos' in my head. They remind me that this life in the midst of pain & struggle is beautiful. They remind me to slow down and cuddle my kid and teach her the value in being present. But I can't teach her with my words. I have to show her with my actions. So that is my intention...to show up & be present. To put my phone away. To talk to the clerk at the store (who we're now on a first name basis). To get down on the ground and play with my girl. To reach out to friends who I know are struggling. To give when I can.

I just know that at the end of the day...there is only one thing that rings true between you and me and all of humanity. Love. It's what we all long for, hope for, live for. I'm keeping my eyes on that. Loving my family. My friends. And even myself (something I haven't done very well in the past). So when I see sunsets...I see love. They remind me to LOVE above all else...and I'm so grateful to have that daily reminder. And I love sunsets!