{Summertime} Lessons in Living

"Summer, summer, summertime. Time to sit back and unwind." 

- Will Smith (I might be dating myself...but do you remember that song?)

Ahhhhh, I could get really use to not working! I am enjoying it thoroughly and working very little. Since starting my photography business in 2007 and bringing baby B into the world in 2008, there's rarely been a moment of rest in the past few years. You know what they say..."All work and no play makes jack a dull boy." It's so true! As much as I tried to enjoy the little things and relish in this new adventure of parenthood...it was often interrupted by the stress and weight of responsibilities. How sad! Well, I'm very happy to say that I'm entering a new chapter!

Would you believe last summer I spent most of it indoors behind a computer? Ugh! How lame. I might add that it was an unusually cold summer. This summer I've committed myself to being OUTDOORS. I've been enjoying swimming with B in friends pools, swim lessons, walks and runs through the park, biking, and just hanging out in our backyard. I had forgotten how much I love the outdoors and how much it can feed my soul. AND I finally have a pretty killer tan for the first time in YEARS.

I decided at the beginning of 2011 that I needed to make some major changes. I'm finally feeling the relief and peace of many of those decisions. I'm taking fewer sessions and focusing on only one wedding a month. Ultimately so that I am able to maintain a balance between work, family, and me.

I'm doing Zumba three or four times a week (once this week I even did it twice in one day...not sure what I was thinking there!). Although I've yet to see a difference in my weight, I'm feeling great and having so much FUN! Once upon a time, I danced for a salsa troupe and was very active in the salsa club scene. (That feels like eons ago.) But the club scene is no where I desire to be at this point in my life. The gym with my yoga pants on, baby girl in the next room, and jammin' to Latin beats...is the perfect place for me right now! I can't believe how much I love it and look forward to it every day! After an hour movin' to salsa, cumbia, meringue, bachata, & reggeaton,...I am one tired and SWEATY momma. I would be more embarrassed by my sweaty appearance if everyone else in the class wasn't the same way.

I've also learned the key to a happy toddler is a BUSY toddler. I've been trying to coordinate with friends and make sure we have lots to do with our days. It makes all the difference in the world. I feel like B's outbursts are becoming fewer and fewer. She is one active little lady and she does not like to be idle. Sound like someone you know?

On Saturday, we're heading to Big Sur for another family vacation with friends. I can hardly wait since I've never been there. We had such a blast at Leo Carillo in Malibu last month..I've anxiously been awaiting this trip.

I've been searching for balance and I'm finding it FINALLY this summer. The trick will be learn it all over again when I return to the classroom in September. Until then, I shall enjoy the moment. (And for that reason...you may not be seeing much of me here on the blog.)

{Casting Interview} abc's The Revolution

I'm a bit reluctant to share an exciting opportunity that came my way with you, as to not jinx it (but I don't really believe in "jinxing" anyways). And I'm usually reluctant to share at first but always happy I did in the end. And after all, I've been on a bit of a journey this past year (as I've shared much here on the blog) and this opportunity would complete this experience. I've made it to the next step in the casting call for a new daytime weight loss show. I have an on camera interview this Wednesday...and I'm part freaking out and part jumping around my office in excitement. 

Let me back up a bit. I didn't go out seeking this myself...as it kinda arrived to me thanks to Facebook and email (yep...all you naysayers out there, social media wins again!). I posted this message on my Facebook business page a week ago today...

I am looking for a trainer in the LB/Lakewood area that would consider working with me this summer, in exchange for photography. Know anyone that might be interested? Possibly a bride-to-be? Please email me charla@charlablue.com. Thanks for any referrals you could give me.

A few days later an email arrived to my InBox from a casting agent from the show saying she saw my post on Facebook and inquired how much weight I wanted to lose. Long story short, I applied, and will be going in to interview on Wednesday ON CAMERA. Holy cow...that "on camera" part...kinda freaks me out. That's part of my problem with my weight gain...I hate to be in front of any camera. I know, I know...I'm a photographer. That is why I am doing this. I need to tackle this issue once and for all. I have been struggling with this for years...and I really just want to feel healthy and good and happy once again. I know my appearance should not define this...but in many ways it does consume me. It's the curse of being a woman, right?

Here's the casting call excerpt about the show:

The producers of The Biggest Loser and ABC’s newest hit Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition have a new daytime talk show for ABC that will help you shed the weight and get your life back! They are looking for inspirational and relatable women who are ready to drop lbs and regain control of their lives.

Participants will be provided with a trainer and nutrition plan to lose the weight within their own environment. 

Have career, family, life situation or kids taken control of your weight?  Have you overcome challenging circumstances that have caused you to gain the weight?  Are you constantly giving to others or just neglecting yourself?  Is it finally time to lose that extra weight?

As much as I love reality TV shows, I've never desired much to be on one. But this is different! They give me all the tools to improve my life...in my home and on my schedule? Heck yeah! I'm ready to swallow my pride if it means I get my life back. Right?

I have spent many years coaching and attempting to inspire others as both a teacher and cheer coach/advisor. I'm excited for the potential to be in the position of a student/trainee once again (I'm remembering the days of college cheerleading and being trained like boot camp before we could ever start stunting or learn material). I want to be in the best shape of my life (especially after being in the worst!). I want to know what it's like to push myself both physically, nutritionally, and emotionally. I want to start my transformation now! Please send good thoughts and prayers for me. I think this could be such an amazing opportunity.

Regardless of the outcome, I'm grateful for the opportunity. And since I am now on summer vacation, this shall be the beginning of change to come. I'll keep you posted on what happens. As always, thanks for reading and following my journey.

{Books You Need to Read} Cold Tangerines & Bittersweet | A Giveaway

I just finished reading Bittersweet, the second of two memoirs by Shauna Niequist. (Thank you to a photographer friend of mine, Amy, for the suggestion) They were both equally as good as the other, actually they were amazing. So amazing that I'm personally giving away both books to one lucky reader (the last giveaway was too much fun, I'm on to the next). Giveaway details below.

Although I have a Nook, I read both of these books on my iPhone...while waiting at a stoplight, while my students were testing, in the dark while my family was sleeping, and any little moment I could escape away.

I don't really want to share my thoughts on each book quite yet because I would love for you to read and formulate your own thoughts. I do want to share an excerpt from each book that inspired each of the book titles. I also think they'll give you an idea as to what these books are all about. 

Cold Tangerines

"I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud. And I don’t want to get to the end, or to tomorrow, even, and realize that my life is a collection of meetings and pop cans and errands and receipts and dirty dishes. I want to eat cold tangerines and sing out loud in the car with the windows open and wear pink shoes and stay up all night laughing and paint my walls the exact color of the sky right now. I want to sleep hard on clean white sheets and throw parties and eat ripe tomatoes and read books so good they make me jump up and down, and I want my everyday to make God belly laugh, glad that He gave life to someone who loves the gift."

-Shauna Niequist, Cold Tangerines

“The idea of bittersweet is changing the way I live, unraveling and re-weaving the way I understand life. Bittersweet is the idea that in all things there is both something broken and something beautiful, that there is a sliver of lightness on even the darkest of nights, a shadow of hope in every heartbreak, and that rejoicing is no less rich when it contains a splinter of sadness. This collection is an ode to all things bittersweet, to life at the edges, a love letter to what change can do in us.”

-Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet

Soooo, are you intrigued? All you have to do is leave a comment and/or complete the following statement by Friday, June 10th at midnight. 

• - "I want a life that..."

I can't wait to hear your replies! One winner will be chosen at random (with the use of random.org).

{Mark} Escape from Alcatraz

 

This is my brother-in-law, Mark. He completed the Escape from Alcatraz triathlon this morning. It is a 1.5 mile swim from Alcatraz, 18 mile bike, 8 mile run with a 400 step sand ladder. He's kinda now my my new hero and my go to guy for inspiration. I say this because more often than not...people rarely dream or make goals or imagine what life could be like if they just allowed or challenged themselves to. Mark has 10 years on me...and yep, I'm thinking there is no way in hell I could do that EVER. (And might I just mention that he completed it with a hernia. And the guy is from sweltering Texas and swam in the chilled SF bay.)

Now I say that. But the truth is that I could. If I just decided. In fact, five years ago I decided to start training for a triathlon. I began training with a group of women called the TriDivas. You can check out a feature about me HERE and how I began that journey. I really never considered myself an athlete and I became one. I later ran a half marathon. Those three races are some of my greatest accomplishments. I miss pushing myself physically. I miss being physically fit.

Today I am motivated by my brother-in-law. I spent the day cleaning and tuning up my road bike, which I have not been on since prior to being pregnant with Brooklyn. I think that is one my biggest challenges with becoming a mother. Is learning to balance the person I was with the person I am now. I know it's all a matter of choice...in how I spend my time. There is so much guilt that goes into those decisions though. I'm looking forward to this summer with time to train for a 10K I will be racing and I'm really hoping to get back on my road bike.

So, thank you Mark for inspiring me. And congrats on such an awesome life accomplishment. You are setting an amazing example for your children that will live well long after this race does.

{Oprah} A tearful goodbye

(In case you've been living under a rock, the last Oprah show was yesterday after 25 years on television. I've been watching it forever...maybe since it began when I was 11 years old...I don't remember. And I'm kinda sad about it ending.)


(And if you're an Oprah hater, you can just stop reading right now...and go about your day.)

I wasn't going to write this post...but I really really wanted to. After all, my poor friend Kal (and many others) had to hear me frequently say around the lunch table "On Oprah yesterday..." for the last 10 years. At first they made fun and teased me of my obsession (I say "loyalty"). But eventually they started listening to the stories too, how they impacted me, and how inspired I was from this story or that one. I know it has become so cliche. But it never has been to me. She touched a real and raw spot in my heart. Story after story I was inspired and challenged and moved to tears. These are real people with real stories....and testimonies to learn from. And Oprah was in the middle of it all...inspiring, challenging, believing in, and changing how we all live and communicate.

I've always been busy. Kinda crazy busy, I need to slow down, breathe, and remember what matters most busy. That hour of television every day was my moment of "me" time. A time to wind down and get outside of myself and what's going on in my life. It made me less selfish. It inspired me to do better. It inspired me to dream bigger. It inspired me to heal. And forgive. And let go.

Nothing but goodness came from that show, I believe. She inspired people to read. She challenged people to serve. She built houses. She built schools. She challenged people to stop eating, stop spending, stop using, and to start taking care of themselves and their families. She shared her story, her pain, her challenges, and her successes. She dedicated 25 years of her life so that others may have a better life too.

10 Lessons I've learned from Oprah:

1. 1. You have the power to change your life. You are responsible for it.
2. 2. One person really can change the world.
3. 3. Everybody has a calling, and it is up to you to figure out what that call is.
4. 4. Forgiveness is for you, not the person you are forgiving.
5. 5.  Education is power.
6. 6. You matter, because you were born.
7. 7. Live a life of intention. 
8. 8. Pay it forward. Serve.
9. 9. We are all connected in more ways than not.
10. 10. Leave a legacy. And decide now what it will be.
11. (Okay, just one more and her last words on the Oprah show) 11. To God be the glory.

These are some of my favorite words from her last show:

What I knew for sure from this experience with you is that we are all called. Everybody has a calling, and your real job in life is to figure out what that is and get about the business of doing it. ...

It lights you up and it lets you know that you are exactly where you’re supposed to be, doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing. And that is what I want for all of you and hope that you will take from this show. To live from the heart of yourself. You have to make a living; I understand that. But you also have to know what sparks the light in you so that you, in your own way, can illuminate the world.

-Oprah | May 26th, 2011

She is still very much alive and LIVING....but has already left one HELL of a legacy! What will yours be?

{Brooklyn} The Stories We Tell

Disclaimer: I wrote this last week in a moment of frustration and decided not to post it. Well, after reading it again tonight in a much better place, I feel like it's part of my story that I want you to know. So please read but know that I'm okay and always in a place of progress.

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I learned early on in my first pregnancy and then later with that miscarriage, that there are many things that women do not talk about. Because we are private and our experiences are intimate and personal. And because we want to protect ourselves and our families. 

I tell you this because I do it too. I stand behind half truths (not untruths but not exactly the whole truth) with what I decide to share with you on this blog. For many reasons. One, it's also the face of my business and I don't want to scare you away. Two, I'm a teacher and always aware of who might be reading my thoughts. Three, I attempt to be me as much as possible but sometimes I can tend to sugar coat things or wear my rose colored glasses. And other times, I'm just so negative...that I don't share at all (or I share too much in a moment of frustration).

Tonight I'm thinking of this because I was planning on sharing with you some super cuteness that's been going on in our house with Brookie...puzzle making, song singing, Spanish speaking, fun stuff! But, honestly, my plan has been interrupted with the horns of a toddler beast for the past few days. A 2'10" 28 pound beast that can reduce me to tears and make me feel like a disappointment as a mom. And now I just really want to tell you how I'm feeling.

I wonder if I'm the only one going through this. Is my child really the only strong willed, stubborn, tantrum throwing, her way or the highway little girl? Or are moms just not talking about their little devils. I don't blame them! It's so much more fun to talk about what little geniuses they are. We are all proud of our kidlets. Some times I just wish I wasn't alone in feeling defeated by this little person. Because I could care less how well your child behaves, I just really want to be honest and some good advice on how to handle my girl better. I just want someone to relate to. And some days, I just want a shoulder to cry on.

And, if I'm being honest, I wish I didn't feel so defeated at being a good wife too. I wish my house wasn't always a mess. I wish I could deliver faster to my photography clients. I wish I was more patient with my students. And I really wish I was 20 pounds thinner. I've always been a "go-getter"...so it's a challenge to learn to live with limitations.

I've been praying lots lately for nothing other than "God, reveal to me the person I am suppose to be." I can wear a lot of hats, but it doesn't mean I'll wear any of them well. I understand that I'm incredibly blessed with the life I have but I feel trapped in many ways as well. I have been feeling stuck. And that's a terrible place to be because I'm uncertain what to do. I've never quite been in this place ever in my life. Don't get me wrong, I have been in terrible situations before but I've always know that I was a decision away from change. Now I feel like I'm chapters or light years from that place. Because it's just complicated. Or maybe that is just the story I tell myself. And it's time to tell a new one...

{By the way, it was very difficult for me to click "publish" on this post. But I've been inspired by a friend going through a different sort of challenge.}

{Life} Finding Beauty in the Every Day

I have a million things I want to say but no energy to say anything. Working and parenting has rendered me useless! I am keenly aware of my current situation and hoping and praying for a new state. For today, just enjoy the images...

{Thoughts on 2010} Moving Forward in 2011

I am extremely grateful for all the clients that invited me into their lives this past year. I have arrived at a place of confidence in my photography business after dedicating the past few years in growing it. I thought it would be fun to highlight at least one image from each and every session that I did last year in appreciation. I had no idea that it would total 72! That's on top of working a fulltime teaching job. No wonder I was so exhausted!

This past year I felt like a grown up. I know that sounds weird considering I'm married and a mom, been working in the professional world for 13 years, and paying bills for even longer. But this last year I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. The stress of finances, parenting, cultivating a life, getting everything done on a daily basis, meeting timelines, making decisions, and somehow keeping my house clean in the mix of it. I pretty much failed at much of it. Don't get me wrong...I had successes and much to be thankful for. But inside I was dying a little bit more of me each day. By November, I was reminded of who that person was again (on a short trip to Mexico that took me away from it all). The real me. A girl who likes to laugh. And love. And enjoy life. I didn't do much of that at all last year. I know I said I wasn't making a new years resolution other than finding balance. But what I really want is to find me. To uncover that girl I know inside and live like her on the outside.

One of the major decisions I continue to struggle with is having another child. I honestly don't think our life can realistically handle another child. But, you see, I am one of five children and I cannot imagine Brooklyn not having the joy of having a sibling. My siblings are my best friends and my fondest memories are of us growing up. I want her to have that experience too. And if I'm honest with you, I'm scared to death about being pregnant again. The fear of losing another baby. The challenges of carrying a child with my barely five foot stature. The sleepless nights and painful back aches. The grueling experience of labor and delivery and the recovery. I have not forgotten any of it (despite what you all told me). And the added expense of another child. How do you pay for two children and not go broke? But I also have that motherly longing to hold a sleeping baby in my arms again and think it would be awesome to be a famiy of four. I'm just so conflicted. Dan and I have decided several times to go for it, and then I get scared.

So these are the things that are weighing on my heart. Something has gotta give. And being the planner I am I have decided to take action. By stopping. Stop working so much. Stop spending so much. Stop trying to do it all. Stop stressing. I dedicate this year to taking care of myself and my family. I will be limiting the amount of sessions and weddings I take, so that I may focus on taking good care of the clients I do have. Ultimately I want a little bit of freedom.

So if you see a little less of me on my blog...this is why. I will continue to blog previews for my clients and of course updates on Brookie, but I'm not trying to fulfill any sort of quota this year. I will say that I do find a lot of joy in blogging, so we'll just see where this year takes us.

"Definition of a successful business is one that serves the whole of your life, 

not one that swallows you whole. "

--Melissa Galt

My chiropractor posted this on his Facebook page this past week, and I found a lot of comfort and hope in these words....

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God's timing is amazing! Have you ever attended a sermon and thought to yourself..."I'm pretty sure this was written for me?" Well, that was me today listening to our Pastor begin a series called "Life in the Margins". I actually wrote this post last week and hesitated on posting it. Today's sermon totally hit home and I felt compelled to post it because this my journey and progress it to be made. Here were some key points that hit home for me:

Controlling my calendar is about...

• - Remembering my limitations.
• - I can often do more by doing less.
• - Realizing that I'm not defined by what I do.
• - I can develop a healthy rhythm.
• - Remembering that I have value because God gave it to me.

I'm excited about slowing down, clearing the noise, and seeing where this year takes me.

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{Inspire} 12 days of Christmas

I set out to do the 12 Days of Christmas in images w/ quotes, but then life just kicked me in the butt. Despite the fact that I teach, do photography, am a wife, and a mom...I some how think in my mind that I can do it all. Like when I was 20. I have to remind myself a LOT that I am almost 36 with many responsibilities and my life is no longer my own. Which is a wonderful thing, but sometimes I forget. My aspirations are just sometimes bigger than what reality will allow for. Which is incredibly frustrating and will sometimes get me in trouble. I have the best of intentions and I am still adjusting to this new chapter in my life. I hope that does not sound selfish. It's not. I've just always been a dreamer and incredibly determined. I have to learn some things the hard way, by making mistakes. But I am always looking to make improvements and for inspiration in all that I see and do, which is why I have do things like this...

On the fourth day of Christmas...

Image: Taken at Snoqualmie Pass in 2007.

On the fifth day of Christmas...

Image: Taken in the Brummel home of 2009.

On the sixth day of Christmas...

Image: Taken at Snoqualmie Falls in 2007.

On the seventh day of Christmas...

Taken in the Avery home in 2008.